It was a quiet Tuesday noon, when my tummy twitched every 12mins or so. I didn’t think it was contraction because it didn’t hurt as much as I thought a contraction would feel. When the twitching gets closer to 8-10mins I called mom to ask if maybe I should check with my OB (it was not scheduled until Friday, or the next Monday, I forgot). She went straight home and took me to the hospital, straight into delivery suite. The nurses CTG-ed me, phoned the OB and back with the result, saying that the OB suggest that “we should do the surgery as soon as possible, and that is 7pm, tonight”. It was originally scheduled for 4-5pm but they had to switch schedule with the later patient because my OB wanted a pediatrician who is skilled to work with small babies to work with him, and she’s only available around 7pm. Yes my baby is small, on the last USG the week before, she won’t gain any more weight and apparently I’m running out of water and the placenta is getting old, so instead of the original EDD which is around the second week of November, he wanted to do the surgery early, but we didn’t thought it would be THIS early.
Bismillahirrahmanirrahiim, hoping that things would go as planned, I agree to have the surgery. I didn’t feel scared at all. I was more anxious and a bit nervous about the preparation for the surgery itself. I mean, what if the anesthesia went horribly wrong and I would feel the blade cutting through my flesh??
Anyway I didn’t feel any flesh being cut open but I did smell something burned, which is ME. I felt a giant movement in my tummy, and a bit of chest pain when they pushed my abdomen hard, but that’s it. Seconds later I heard the sound of suction, sucking something slimy, then a small cry, and then things went quiet. I waited, and waited, and waited to see my baby, but it turned out she was brought into NICU and placed inside an incubator. I didn’t get to see her until Thursday, and meanwhile, all I can do is stare at her pics n watch her videos. Felt unreal, even after I went into the Intermediate Care looking for her, saw her, and touched her for the first time. Still can’t believe that she’s here. For real. My baby. MINE.
